I agree to have steve ramsdell's super-encrypted-cookie-ridden-hacking-uber-worm-virus embedded-home-made software to hack into my KoMpUtER and obtain personal info -
up to and including credit card numberz - favorite porno sites visited and permission
to tell your mom exactly what sites they may be. I agree to be steve ramsdell's
friend. I agree to buy steve ramsdell various electronic equipment to help
forward his struggling comedic and acting career. Up to and including a
video camera for the production of his fledgling amateur Animal Husbandry "How To..." series
the first of wich will star Cpt. Barkley ( a purebread midget-dwarf horse that is renouned for
his markings, kindness and 97% succesful insemination rate.) I agree to let steve ramsdell
know of parties, get togethers and other special sporting events that may be held in my
home (because steve ramsdell doesnt have many friends) I agree to let steve ramsdell
crash on my couch when he is doing a comedy show in my town because I am a nice
person and he is a cheap bastard. I agree to support his comedy and give him a ride
home because he has had his driving license suspended and he is "Too Good" for
public
transportation. IF FEMALE, I agree to be steve ramsdell's
girlfriend. IF MALE,
I agree to let steve grope my girlfriend, sister or wife. If carrying any extra cash,
I will give steve ramsdell money when I see him in-exchange for a pat on the back
and a half-harted "How ya doin' " ... I agree to kiss steve ramsdell's ass and tell him he
is the "funniest guy I've ever seen, EVER..." at least twice per conversation with him.
I agree to address him with the phrase "Dude, you are flippin' Brilliant !! " upon our
meeting. I agree to help steve move his stuff upon a moments notice. I agree to
obtain a cell phone for his personal use under my good credit. I agree to finance a 42" plasma
flat-screen
television for Steve and make the payments for the duration
of the
contract. I agree
to give Steve a ride when
requested. I agree to buy steve lunch when
requested. I agree to
buy S.R.'s upcomming
concert DVD at the ridiculously low price of $49.95 with a signed
8 x 10 of steve ramsdell live in concert. (who signs it we dont know...) I agree to release steve ramsdell
of any and all liabilities as a result of illness, acts of God, pregnancy or yes, even not being funny.
I have read and understand these terms and conditions and agree to the previous-ly stated words and
promise not to pursue any legal claims, filings, suits or actions against one, mr. steve ramsdell.
Any and all agreements are null and void due to the use of common sense and the
satirical natue of this smart-ass website - Let's face it. These T & C's
are a joke. A parody of all the T&C's that you see daily on
the internet and in our everyday lives.
this is just a joke.....
thanks
s.r.